381 Days

With the flood of anti-racism resources circulating the internet following the murder of George Floyd, it feels terribly ridiculous to add more content on this subject. It is painfully obvious that much of the progressive White community (myself included), has jumped on the BLM bandwagon when we should have been on the ride the entire time. Regardless, I do see it as a positive that people are trying to take action.

How long we stay in the fight, now, is the real question. Because those of us who are White have the privilege to deboard this bandwagon at any moment that we start to feel tired, inconvenienced, emotionally overwhelmed or “too busy.” 

I plan to stick it out for the long haul. By plan, what I mean is, I am making an actual plan for it. We do not accomplish any difficult or meaningful goals through hoping or wishing. Hope is not a strategy. If we say we are committed to racial justice, we better make a plan. I saw a post on Instagram about the 381 days that MLK led the black community in the Montgomery bus boycott, indicating we should keep the current protests going for 381 days. My personal pledge is for 381 days of anti-racism work. Obviously, there is no time limit or expiration date on being an anti-racist, but I am using the 381 days as a symbolic starting place and to create a long-term, habit-forming goal.

The never-ending stream of article, video and podcast shares on my news feed has been overwhelming, so I decided to take a couple simple steps to semi-organize the information for myself, reflect and create my personal action plan. I am simply sharing it here as a way to help myself get my thoughts down on paper, and in case it inspires anyone else to do something similar. 

In the past I believe I have been guilty of sharing information on Facebook not just because I thought the information was good but also because I wanted to show that I cared about the issue. (I discovered last week that this is called “performative allyship“). Maybe I still do this. What are our true motivations for doing anything in the social media world? But one thing I know is, regardless of the bandwagon phenomenon, my Facebook news feed is providing value right now. The clever analogies that teach me a simpler way to explain complex concepts, the articles I click into while I’m waiting for my kids to fall asleep, the podcasts I stream in the background while washing dishes and fielding never-ending questions from my four-year-old – I am learning from all of it. 

Much of the content I normally consume online is related to self-improvement. I realized that there is a connection between anti-racism and personal development in terms of how we verse ourselves in them. In both arenas, it is not too hard to understand the information on an intellectual level. It starts with being exposed to new ways of thinking, and the light bulb quickly goes on. But after this initial awakening, the rest of the work is about REPETITION. The rest of the work requires immersing ourselves in the content, hearing the ideas over and over again in different ways, from a variety of people with diverse perspectives. It is about reversing the unhealthy and inaccurate stories we grew up learning and replacing them with more constructive ways of thinking.

Part of what mean to say is, even though social media can be a toxic and chaotic swirl of opinions and hypocrisy, right now it is also playing an important role in uniting, motivating and educating us. This post is not meant to focus on social media; I am simply trying to reflect on what I am doing right now to stand up to anti-racism. My entry point, for better or for worse, has been Facebook. It is where I first heard about George Floyd and where I have been continuing to ingest daily content on the BLM movement. I should have been doing this all along. But I am doing it now. Surely many other White people can relate. 

But will we continue to care when the “hype” dies down? When the news crews go home, as Al Sharpton phrased it in Floyd’s eulogy. Just as with personal development, we cannot expect to make any progress by merely hoping for things in our lives. To achieve personal goals, we must identify them with intentionality and create an action plan. The same is true if we are to engage in the work of anti-racism in the long term. By the way, as I type this I realize the glaringly obvious truth that becoming more anti-racist is part of self-improvement, not separate from it. 

My work in the anti-racism arena feels a bit haphazard at the moment (much like this blog post). But I think as long as I am doing something, that is okay as a starting point. Below are some of the steps I am taking so far. If I write them in the form of commands, it is because I am telling myself to do these things, not because I am an expert telling you what you should do.

1.Consume one quality resource per day and share it on social media, even (and especially) after the “hype” dies down. Right now there is so much content being shared that it is somewhat overwhelming. Consider using the “save for later” feature on Facebook and creating a social justice or BLM folder. Or cut and paste links you come across throughout the day into a central location. It does not need to be fancy. I have about 100 Notes in my iPhone related to all areas of my life because that’s just the most accessible place to throw ideas and links into as a busy, multitasking mom. Return to your stockpile of resources over time and continue to expand your knowledge. Commit to spending a few minutes each day over the long term, rather than obsessing over justice for a few weeks and then forgetting about it. After I wrote this last sentence, I discovered this on Erin Jones’ Facebook page, comparing the work of anti-racism to a marathon, which is perfect:

2.Add People of Color to your sphere of influence. Ideally, some of these will be actual friends, though this is clearly difficult to immediately and organically create. Start by following more people and leaders of color on social media and reading content by BIPOC. Again, making a comparison to the personal development space, two suggestions we constantly hear are: 1)Find mentors and 2)Surround yourself with high-quality people. Since we cannot spontaneously create these connections, social media is the next best alternative for positioning ourselves around people who will influence the messages we consume and ultimately help shape our mindset.

3. Donate consistently. This podcast, which is a truly incredible story of the founding of The Spring, hits on a really interesting point about charity. Founder Scott Harrison says that Americans are generous yet do not donate to charity as much as one might expect. Part of this is due to mistrust of the organizations. This is a completely valid concern, and we do need to be vigilant about how and where we donate. On the other hand, when we supposedly have these professed values and we have discretionary income to donate to causes, yet we come up with reasons not to donate… well, I actually call those “mind games.” We play too many mind games in all areas of life. We over-analyze everything and it prevents us from taking action. 

Reasons I have failed to donate in the past include: There were too many organizations to pick from and I didn’t know how to choose the “best” one; I had heard that most charities waste money; I convinced myself that I was too poor; I convinced myself that I already give enough to society being a teacher. Again, mind games. If you have a decent income right now and say you are passionate about racial justice, let’s put our money where our mouth is.

Donate creatively. Research a variety of organizations, visit their websites and learn about them and their mission. You might choose to donate to different organizations each month, as a way to get familiar with different types of work being done. My good friend shared on Facebook the half dozen places she had made donations, admitting it felt silly to spread it around in such small amounts, but that was the way it made sense to her to make an impact in different places. Get others involved by setting up a fundraiser online or collaborating with friends and family on a donation project. Have your kids help research and curate a list of organizations and donate to a different one each time. I think this is an area we can use our human creativity while at the same time making an impact.

4.Pledge to speak up when you hear injustice. I spent just a few minutes brainstorming language to use in these instances. It is important to mentally prepare for the moment you have to speak up against racism. This is what I came up with off the top of my head, and of course most are phrases I have learned from others or in trainings.

-Can you explain what you mean by that?

-I don’t understand what you mean, could you elaborate?

-I disagree.

-I don’t think it’s our place (as _(educators_) to make that judgement.

-Have you ever had the experience of _____? It might be hard for you to understand because you cannot personally relate to what they are going through. (Taken from a friend last week)

-Have you tried looking at this from their point of view or putting yourself in their shoes?

-Would you feel differently if that were your own child/spouse/friend?

-I understand you might be feeling ____. I have also felt that way before, but then I learned that ____.

-I used to think ____, but now I believe _____.

-That’s not funny/kind/appropriate.

-(Send an email, note or have a conversation later.) The conversation/your comment about ___ made me feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure what to say in the moment, but after I thought about it, I wanted to say…

-(Simply show with your facial expression that you do not agree.)

 5. Be thoughtful about what you post on social media. Get real with yourself about why you are posting. Is it to show solidarity, or show off? Is it to let your friends of color know you stand with them, or to let your friends know you are a good person? Is it to educate others with a quality resource, or to show others how educated you are? Is it to inspire others with a powerful quote, or to convince others how insightful you are?  

Take a moment to reflect, but do not overthink it too much. Now is not the time to walk on eggshells fearing you will say or do the wrong thing. In my opinion, let’s go ahead and jump in there, hop on the bandwagon and be a part of the movement. It is better than staying silent and immobile. I do encourage us to ask the above questions in an attempt to be thoughtful and intentional about our actions. Take an extra moment before clicking to ask yourself if the content you are about to put out will bring value to someone, and if you think it might, then share it!

None of us really knows what we are doing, but one declaration I continue to hear from Black people is that White silence hurts. It hurts more than if we say the “wrong” thing. And chances are we will say the wrong thing. I have heard a LOT in the past week about what White people should/should not do and what we are doing wrong; it does feel in moments that there is a hefty pile of confusing “rules.” But if I feel this way, just imagine how it has been for Black people trying to follow the rules of a White supremacist society every single day of their lives.

 Take action. Do something. As Phil Vischer from Veggietales says at the end of this incredible video about systemic racism, CARE. Try to be reflective and humble. Check your heart to ensure you are doing it for the right reasons. You will probably offend or annoy someone. But fear of what others are going to think of you has absolutely no place in this urgent, critical moment in history.

Before you click

Ask yourself

Are you sharing information

Or gaining reputation?

~

Before you share

Question

Do you really want to educate

Or just replicate?

~

Is the hashtag trending

Or merely trendy?

Do your words matter

To Black Lives Matter?

~

A chaotic swirl of raw emotion

In your big white bubble

Do you have a notion?

~

When the streets clear

Will you still be here?

When hashtags dissipate

Will you still fight hate?