Service in Times of Crisis

My heart is so very heavy and my brain in such a fog due to the events of the past few days. I fear this post may be more of a diary entry than an informative or meaningful article to anyone else. It has been so difficult to find time to write during the past month of the pandemic; I have been feeding and tending to and loving my babies 24/7 for the past 12 weeks solid, working into the wee hours of the night to finish an acceptable bare minimum for my “real” job. Tonight I have found a spare window of time to write (time I should be sleeping), and nothing I have to say feels relevant as the world around us appears to be crumbling to pieces.

On Friday night, I watched the video clip of George Floyd being murdered by a police officer. Tonight, while sitting still watching TV at the dinner table, my son lost his mind screaming over a mysteriously injured finger that appeared not to have a scratch, cut, bruise or splinter anywhere in sight. As my husband calmed him with a Paw Patrol band-aid, I happened to jump online to find that the city of Seattle was in a state of total mayhem, being burned, looted, pillaged and plundered.

Creating the week’s lesson plans on Spanish shopping vocabulary and the difference between the verbs “saber” and “conocer” for my middle school class feels terribly irrelevant, as does writing any type of post on mental health or advice for middle class moms.

I have been wanting to share some thoughts on service in times of crisis, and now feels like as good a time as any to do so. This post is me pressing forward and getting something out on paper, unpolished though it may be, because… life goes on.

Consider service as a way to reach for hope, as a positive mental boost, as a way to raise yourself and others up right now.

Service in Times of Crisis

These are the ways service can benefit you and your family at the same time that you make a positive impact on the lives of others:

Service as power (vs. helplessness)

In the face of the pandemic, we have been forced to confront the stark reality that we have very little control in our lives. During the past three months, we have witnessed the lies and incompetence from our government, the lack of preparation for crisis and lack of critical supplies. We have seen how COVID-19 is further devastating the black community and other people of color disproportionate to whites. This past week we watched a cop, hands casually in his pockets, kneel on a man’s neck for 9 minutes while the latter lost consciousness and died. All of these events make us feel powerless.

Service is an antidote to helplessness. Donating your skills, time or money will give you back a feeling of power. Choose an organization or cause you feel passionately about and take action.

Service as gratitude (vs. guilt)

Those of us who are currently employed are well aware of how lucky we are. As we watch Americans across the country getting laid-off and losing their businesses, we feel grief and sadness. A feeling that never serves anyone, however, is guilt. If you still have a paycheck, consider helping out someone who does not.

You may also feel grateful for your health and offer to lend a helping hand to a friend or neighbor who is in a high-risk group. Offer to pick up their groceries or run errands for them.

In my family’s case, we have been gifting some money to our children’s previous daycare provider, as we know she is without income or government assistance at this time. We are grateful to have an income, grateful to the loving care she has provided our children the past years and grateful to be able to help in some small way. Gratitude is a powerfully uplifting emotion.

Service as community (vs. isolation)

We are all dealing with the challenge of being quarantined at home going on three months now. All of us miss our friends and family. Service can be a means of creating community and combatting isolation. This weekend, for example, social media platforms are being flooded with people sharing resources and coming together in solidarity for anti-racism. Beyond photos, quotes and “likes,” I have seen people posting phone numbers and scripts to demand action from government leaders. I have seen lists of links for donating to social justice organizations. Others are posting the books, articles and podcasts white people must consume as a starting point to educating ourselves about active anti-racism. Community leaders are teaching free equity classes through Facebook live.  As we come together to take action in standing up for justice, we gain a sense of community even as we are living in this strange time of quarantine.

For both of my children’s birthdays, I set up a fundraiser through Facebook. This was a rewarding endeavor that allowed me to bring together many of my friends, family members and co-workers in a shared purpose. I was able to share causes that are meaningful to me and motivate others to join me in supporting them.

Service as creativity (vs. boredom)

I am not sure that anyone with children has had even a split second to feel bored in quarantine, but I am certain we are all starting to feel the drag of monotony. Many acts of service we have seen throughout the country exemplify the beautiful spirit of human creativity. In my school community, students were painting rocks and leaving them around neighborhoods and on people’s front porches. There were the teddy bears people were displaying in their windows for children to spot when they took walks around the block. I participated in a kindness challenge from Character Strong that had me texting Haikus to friends and curating playlists.

Find an opportunity to use your creativity to make someone else’s day a bit brighter. You will find it lightens your spirit as well.

Service as teaching and learning (vs. loss of academics)

Our youth will have been out of school for three months and could potentially lose more instructional time in the fall. Although we are all concerned about their academics, we have been presented with an unusual opportunity to focus on other areas of learning. For some families, this could mean teaching your kids how to cook, how to take on responsibilities within the home or how to write letters. Many families, or course, are totally overwhelmed with financial stress or trying to maintain a family and household afloat while being a full-time parent and full-time employee simultaneously. It may be a challenge to motivate your kids to focus on their schoolwork or any new learning tasks you give them.

One area that I believe kids are likely to latch onto and roll with during these stressful times, however, is that of service. They will see the relevance of it and feel a sense of purpose. It will take the focus off themselves and what they are losing, giving them an opportunity to build resiliency and compassion. Encourage your children to develop their own service project or research causes to contribute to. Talk with them about what is happening in the world and ask them for their ideas and solutions. This will be incredibly empowering and give them a sense of hope and agency during this very frightening period.

My children are a bit too young to understand the concept of service, but as mentioned I created fundraisers in honor of their birthdays and plan to continue with this tradition so they will grow up with this practice. Each night I ask my four-year-old son what he is grateful for and say something from the day that makes me feel grateful. Even though he is not good at engaging in this type of thinking yet, I am hopefully planting the seeds of service and creating powerful habits.  

Service… because it is needed.

Last of all, the most obvious benefit of service is that it improves the quality of life of others. The reasons above are simply reflections about why choosing to focus on serving others during this period specifically will bring all sorts of mental and emotional rewards to you at the same time. When you feel the world tumbling down around you, consider a donation to a critical cause if you have the financial means, taking on a community project if you have the time, or a small, 2-minute act of kindness towards a friend if that is all you have to give. We need compassion and solidarity more than ever.