Thrive or Survive Through COVID-19

As COVID-19 spreads throughout the world, it brings with it a flood of impact beyond the principal concern of health. In the midst of financial devastation, as well as childcare and employment concerns, the effect on our emotions is not to be underestimated. The bizarre situation in which we’ve found ourselves is unlike anything most of us have experienced in our lifetime. As daily life has been majorly disrupted, yet in many ways feels the same as always, we’re all navigating a strange mixture of emotions. Anxiety over the unknown – will I go to work Monday? Will I continue to get paid? Fear over the virus itself – will I get sick? My kids? My parents? Deep disappointment over the vacations, weddings and birthday parties that have been cancelled.

As we experience this strange phase of life in the coming weeks and months, there is much opportunity to look for the silver lining. For many, our mental health will depend on our ability and willingness to see that silver lining. This is also a moment to reflect and practice gratitude as we realize that our hardship is likely far less than that of many of those around us. Moreover, this could be the perfect time to allow ourselves a bit more grace.

Here are a few of my thoughts on surviving and thriving during the COVID-19 crisis:

1) Reflect and Be Grateful

The past couple weeks have been full of uncertainty, anxiety and disappointment for my family and everyone around us. As a teacher, we wondered each day if we would be returning to school the next morning. Students obsessively applied hand sanitizer and asked repeatedly, out of both hope and worry, “Profe Klein, do you think school will get cancelled?” Now stuck at home, we check our emails daily to see what “teaching remotely” is supposed to look like and if we’ll continue to receive a paycheck. My husband and I continue watching and reading the latest global news updates as we pretend to hold out hope for our trip to Peru next month. As of Monday, my sister-in-law in Lima decided to postpone her April wedding. I’ve been considering how to break the news to my 4-year-old that his Rusty Rivets birthday party with Peruvian family, which he’s been talking about for months, isn’t going to happen. We’ve stopped planning our summer vacation to Disney. 

Amongst new daily unknowns and frustrations mounting one on top of another, I’m forced to snap my fingers at myself multiple times a day and remind myself to be grateful for my privilege. Having to wonder if you’ll get paid this month is a stress for anyone, but I’m lucky to be in a stable financial situation with a roof over my head. Every time a financial worry pops into my head, I try to counter it immediately by recognizing the resources my family has compared to so many in this country and around the world.

For every disappointment over a missed party, event, outing or vacation, again I try to flip the switch in my brain and remind myself that I’m extremely privileged to have these opportunities in the first place. We have a lifetime ahead to travel and have fun, and right now I can focus on spending quality time with my family and staying healthy. Nothing else matters much.

There are many gratitude strategies you can use when you feel the bitterness inside you welling up. Make a list of ten things you’re grateful for in a notebook or in your phone, either as a morning/evening habit or when you feel yourself spiraling into a negative mental thought pattern. Get outside for a ten-minute walk and enjoy the spring weather, which doesn’t seem to have a clue that the world is infected with Coronavirus. Text someone you care about and tell them why you appreciate them.

2) See the Silver Lining

Along the same lines, we can overcome the difficult emotions caused by this uncertain time by intentionally looking for the positive side effects of all that is happening. Schools are closing shop, and many working mothers (and fathers) have found ourselves home from work for the next six weeks or longer. Despite financial concerns and all the rest of it, this time home with our kids is an unexpected gift from the universe, if we choose to see it that way. Enjoy your time. Play and laugh with your kids. Do whatever it is you’ve been wanting to have more time to do, whether that’s going outside, doing art projects or cooking with them.

Spring vacation cancelled? In many cases, airlines are refunding trips or allowing rescheduling at no extra cost. Maybe we will in fact come out ahead financially in some instances. My family loves to eat out, and though we miss it, I realize we are saving significantly on restaurant bills already.

As a mental exercise, each time your mind starts to wonder into a negative space thinking about all the things you’re missing out on due to the Coronavirus, try to flip the switch and identify something positive about the situation. If you do this enough, you will form a habit and your brain will automatically start to push out destructive thoughts when they creep in. If you’re struggling to find a positive, another simple but powerful strategy is to remind yourself that this is a temporary situation that will eventually improve.

3 Help Others

One of the best ways to lift your spirits during trying times is by looking to serve others. As schools and workplaces close, families living paycheck to paycheck will immediately struggle to provide the basics for their family. Whether you are one of those struggling families or are in a more fortunate situation, you can look for ways to contribute to your community as we work together to survive the COVID-19 crisis. Some ideas:

Donate to your local food bank. In my experience, food banks will accept monetary donations if this is more feasible for you than physically taking food in.

Practice kindness. Check out this awesome 30-day kindness challenge from Character Strong.

Offer childcare. Consider offering childcare to a friend or neighbor who may suddenly find themselves without daycare options.

Volunteer or support a cause. Check out your favorite organizations for volunteer or donation opportunities, especially if you find yourself with extra time or a more flexible schedule in the upcoming weeks. I like the JustServe site/app for finding local opportunities. Be sure to observe social distancing guidelines.

Do a grocery run. Offer to pick up groceries or run errands for elderly neighbors or people in your community who may be at risk.

4) Structure Your Time, Flexibly

The drastic change in daily routine most of us have experienced is disorienting, to say the least. Most of us now find ourselves staying at home the majority of the day, with reduced work hours or completely different responsibilities. You might find yourself with more time, or, if you are now caring for young children and simultaneously carrying out your work tasks from home, you might find yourself under more pressure to get everything done. Both of these scenarios have the potential to cause high anxiety. If you are feeling overwhelmed, it might help to re-work a new daily schedule for yourself and your kids.

What works for me in a high-stress, emotional situation is to ease into a new routine without putting too much pressure on myself. In my first three days working from home, I did not set any expectations for myself and just let the day happen, prioritizing taking good care of my kids and spending quality time with them. Now that I have seen what the day looks like with them, I can start to make adjustments and designate chunks of my day to childcare tasks, work tasks and personal tasks such as exercise or writing. With kids, it’s imperative to plan a flexible schedule and think in chunks of time that can be swapped around, shifted to other parts of the day or week as necessary. Setting too rigid of a schedule will only lead to frustration, because we must respond to our kids’ many needs as they arise.

5) Give Grace and Take Care

I messaged my dear friend, who also has a young kiddo, to see how “teaching from home” was going for her. She replied, “Kristina, I will kill myself at the end of 6 weeks. I look so weird. Just in a day, I have dark circles under my eyes, crazy hair, and looks like I haven’t taken a shower in ages (even though I have).”

After accidentally smacking my son in the face earlier with a really hard soccer ball that ricocheted off a tree, which caused him to scream so loud one of the moms in the neighborhood came out to see if everything was okay, I thought to myself, “There’s a reason I’m not a stay-at-home-mom.”

Remember that you have been put in an unexpected situation, and give yourself time to adjust. Let yourself feel whatever emotions you are feeling. If you’re a highly ambitious person used to constantly being productive and using any moment of spare time for personal development, give yourself permission to take a breath. Take care of yourself, your family and your mental and physical health, even if that means pausing from your projects, your business or your side hustle. For some, the months ahead could be the perfect moment to take advantage of a flexible schedule and the gift of time to advance in a personal, creative or business endeavor. For others, this could be a time to hunker down and take it day by day. We shouldn’t live our lives in survival mode, but there are seasons of life when this may be necessary depending on the space we’re in mentally. Pay attention to where you’re at, and give yourself grace.

Leave me a comment below and let me know how you’re surviving and thriving through the COVID-19 debacle.