9 Nuggets of Inspiration

Some days as moms, as humans, we just feel down. We all go through rough weeks, days, moments. Though I’m an overall upbeat and optimistic person, it’s far too easy for small challenges to pull me down into the “dark place.” Something I’m slowly getting better at is being able to pull myself out of my funk quicker and more automatically. Listening to, watching or reading something uplifting or meaningful is one strategy that helps me get back on track. The catch-22 is that when we’re in that dark space, we often lose our desire to want to feel better, a very strange and sick phenomenon of human nature. I find that the more I get into a habit of feeding myself empowering messages in the form of podcasts, books, videos and my own thoughts, the easier it becomes to find that glimmer of hope in my heart in those really tough moments of life.

Here are some of the best things I’ve heard, read, seen and learned. These are nuggets of hope, humor, inspiration and insight that I believe have improved the quality of my life in some small or large way. I’ve posted links to provide easy access, as well as my favorite take-away or personal application of each. Check them out when you’re feeling low. May they uplift you.

Ed Mylett MaxOut podcast, Interview with Sarah Centrella

This interview starts as Sarah Centrella recounts how life as she knew it shattered to pieces with one short text message. She describes how she used the power of thought and hope to rebuild her life. I LOVE the three specific strategies she shares from her book Hustle, Believe, Receive on positive thought patterns:

1) Power Motto: This is an uplifting phrase you repeat aloud to combat anxiety and give yourself a boost of confidence.

My current power motto is: “I’ll handle it.” (I stole this phrase from the book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers; see below).

2) Mental Tennis: Every time a negative or self-critical thought comes into your head, mentally respond to it with evidence to the contrary.

I battle anxiety many days as a teacher. Today some of the thoughts that crept into my head included: Students are performing terribly on this quiz. I must have rushed too much through these concepts. I don’t think I explained this clearly. Students aren’t enjoying the class as much as they do most years. Am I becoming a worse teacher? I combatted these thoughts with the following truths: The quiz averages are actually solid. Only first period struggled; I will check in with them about why they think they struggled on this quiz. I provided many learning opportunities on these concepts and most students show they understand. The other classes besides first period did quite well. Students are enjoying the class – they said so on their reflections and they are engaged during the lessons. I’m a good teacher. Every year I receive many notes of appreciation from students and most kids excel in the class.

3) Power of Pause: When a problem you need to solve pops into your head in the form of a worry, ask yourself: Can I solve this right now? If the answer is no, mentally set a time in your schedule that you plan to deal with the issue. Then let it go. Whenever the worry pops back into your head, keep reminding yourself that you will deal with it on (such and such date/time).

The other day I was driving to work when I realized I had made a blunder involving several work colleagues, including my supervisors. I had reported a laptop missing several days prior, and on the way to work I suddenly remembered where it was. Feeling terribly embarrassed, I was immediately flooded with anxiety and began mentally writing the email I would send to everyone explaining the error. I was still a good distance away from work and would not be able to send the email until I arrived. This would have been the perfect opportunity to use the Power of Pause. The matter wasn’t urgent, and there was nothing I could do about it in the moment, so I should have let it go and stopped thinking about it until I got to work. Easier said than done, but having a strategy and training yourself to use that strategy can help you form different, more positive thinking patterns over time.

Ed Mylett MaxOut Podcast, Interview with Nick Santonastasso  

Nick Santonastasso has no legs and one arm. He is a competitive body builder and motivational speaker, and his outlook on life will blow you away. This is one of those interviews that simply inspires and makes you feel grateful for what you have, no matter what you’re currently going through.

Rachel Hollis, Rise Podcast: “A New Chapter of Girl, Stop Apologizing”

In her podcast, Rachel Hollis’ tone and messages strike a perfect balance of nurturing and tough love. In this episode, she reads a chapter of her latest book, Girl, Stop Apologizing. She discusses the challenge of not feeling “enough” – smart enough, educated enough, good enough… to succeed at something. Rachel insightfully explains how we tend to doubt whether we will be able to do something, simply because we don’t yet know how to do it. We need to embrace what she coins “toddler status” and be open to the idea of learning to do something for the first time, realizing we will not be good at it in the beginning. I love her simple but profound idea of combatting our limiting beliefs with counterevidence. I have used this tactic when dealing with self-doubts around whether I could succeed in running my own businesses. After reminding myself that I have succeeded in literally every academic and professional venture I’ve set out to do – college, graduate school, becoming a teacher, getting National Board Certification – I realized that if I dedicate myself to building a business, I will surely succeed at that as well. It may take more time and more skills, as it’s something entirely new, but I have proven time and again that I am smart enough, hardworking enough and talented enough.

Feel the Fear and do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers

I have listened to the audiobook three times already, and will probably listen many more times. There are so many important takeaways from this book that it’s difficult to narrow them down, but my favorite idea is the phrase I quoted above, “I’ll handle it.” Jeffers asserts that what causes our fear isn’t the thing itself but rather our belief that we won’t be able to handle it. We must learn that no matter what comes our way in life, even something as terrible as the loss of a relationship or the sickness of a loved one, we will be able to handle it. Painful experiences can even provide opportunities for personal growth, if we can take the right meaning from the experience instead of wallowing in our negative emotions.

My other favorite part of the book is Jeffers’ take on decision-making. We often agonize over what we perceive as tremendously important decisions. Jeffers says it doesn’t really matter what we choose. Nothing in life is that important. In fact, we are likely to be off course most of the time in life; we can and will course correct. She describes the way most people tend to make decisions: First, agonize over the decision. After finally choosing, wonder if you made the “right” choice and imagine what how things might have been better if you’d chosen differently. A better approach: Do a bit of research and reflection about your options. Then just choose. Next, look for all the positives that have come out of your choice. No need to look back and wonder what could have been. If it becomes clear it’s not working out, you can always make a change later.

This book is a huge confidence booster. I love to listen to it on the way to work, before bed and during breaks at work.

Ed Mylett’s Morning and Evening Questions

Ed Mylett is an inspirational speaker who built a multi-million dollar financial services company and now hosts the MaxOut podcast. I heard these questions on a random CD of Mylett’s and have not been able to find them in his podcast. The morning and evening sets of questions will help you start and end your day in a positive mental state. I’ve used them off and on with greater and lesser degrees of consistency. I can attest that this daily routine of question-asking helped me significantly when I was battling extreme anxiety in a previous job. Now, as a busy mom of two, I don’t always find/make the time to ask these questions consistently. Often my mind wonders to something else before I complete them. At night, I usually fall asleep before getting through even one of them. However, I’ve used them enough that they are always present within me. When I waked up with dread in the pit of my stomach or anxious to-do lists darting through my brain, Ed’s voice pops up and asks, “What are you grateful for right now?”

7 Morning Questions:

What am I grateful for in my life right now? What about that makes me grateful? How does that make me feel?

What am I happy about in my life right now? What about that makes me happy? How does that make me feel?

What am I excited about in my life right now? What about that makes me excited? How does that make me feel?

What am I proud of in my life right now? What about that makes me proud? How does that make me feel?

What am I enjoying most in my life right now? What about that do I enjoy? How does that make me feel?

What am I committed to in my life right now? What about that makes me committed? How does that make me feel?

Who do I love? Who loves me? How does that make me feel?

Evening Questions

What did I learn today?

What did I give today?

How has today added to the quality of my life?

Susan David, “The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage”

In this Ted Talk, Susan David discusses the danger of pushing our true emotions aside to embrace “false positivity.” She explains the need for letting ourselves feel the full range of emotions in order to be able to handle the realities of the world. Her best joke is that people who say they don’t want to experience disappointment or just want their negative feelings to go away, have “dead people’s goals.” I think this Ted Talk resonates with people because in today’s world, there is so much emphasis placed on being happy. We are desperate to live fulfilled, happy lives. We don’t think we will be able to handle difficult feelings, so we try to avoid them. The best line from the talk is: “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”

Workin’ Moms

This is a hilarious show about… working moms. Just watch it.

JustServe

This site was recommended on a moms’ group I’m part of on Facebook. Volunteering and donating can uplift us when we are feeling down by helping us connect to the community, distracting us from our own problems and giving us a sense of purpose. I’ve recently had the idea that I want to get my children involved in service from a young age and make it a consistent part of their upbringing. The app is very easy to use to find a variety of local service opportunities.

Marc Anthony, “Vivir la vida”

Never underestimate the power of music! This is my favorite song, which basically has a “carpe diem” theme. What songs inspire you?